My Lucky Day

Today after work when I arrived to my car, I saw a dollar bill neatly folded in half tucked under my driver side front tire, like someone was leaving note for me. I picked it up cautiously, in case it was a poop dollar (story to follow). It was not. The dollar was as clean as a bill could be that was left on the ground, and a crisp new one at that.

Someone from work saw me pick it up to which I said "must be my lucky day!". Hey, I'll take a dollar after taking it up the rear with my investments as of late. It's always fun to find money.
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Now, onto the game of Poop Dollar. Yes, evidently this game truly exists. I found out about it from my college roommate's boyfriend's friends (did you follow that?). This is how you play as explained to me:
-Someone goes poop.
-Then that said person uses a dollar bill to, ahem, wipe on one side.
-Take dollar bill, crumple it a little, and put it poop side down on a somewhat busy sidewalk outside of a bar.
-Sit inside the bar with your friends near the window, and watch how many people stop to pick the dollar up, then realize it has poop on it and drop it back on the ground.
-Laugh at their reaction.
-Bet on how many people will pick the dollar up, and believe it or not, some people will walk away with it.

I shit you not (pun intended), a group of college guys played this game on more than one occasion. So you've been warned, pick money up that is found on the ground with caution, because you never know when a group of college kids are watching through a window and laughing at you.
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Come to think of it, maybe that's what someone did with all of our investment portfolios...shit all over them, and now they're watching us try to salvage our remaining dollars, while having a good laugh at our expense?
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Good thing the government gave AIG an $85B bailout loan...cuz those executives deserved a much needed break from driving their own company into the ground. Spending $23,000 in spa treatments is a necessary business expense. Ask anyone.